Simone Baker: healing work happens in community

This post is part of a Grief Care series, featuring BIPOC healers across multiple traditions and modalities. Each week will spotlight a different healer, sharing their work, how they’re meeting these deeply challenging times, the grief they’re carrying and how they’re tending to it, and what it means to hold space for their communities at the intersections of healing and justice.

Today, I talk with Simone Baker, a Kundalini yoga teacher, transformational coach and energy worker from Brooklyn.

What drew you to kundalini yoga?

What brought me to Kundalini Yoga was my desire to go deeper in my personal spiritual practice.  I had been doing a yin yoga practice for two years straight and it was amazing.  However, I got to a point where I desired to add another yoga practice that connected the body, mind and spirit.  Kundalini did just that for me and was more that what I expected.

Was there something about this practice that connected you to yourself or some deeper awareness that you hadn’t been able to find in other paths or practices you’ve explored?

I love how Kundalini combines breathwork with mantra and movement and mudra.  It feels complete and I feel the effects in my body almost immediately after a practice. Kundalini offers me a way to dive into a practice that facilitates greater awareness of my body, as well as the subtle aspects of who I am.

One of the things that always surprises me is the way that this practices opens the space for deep emotional release. There have been times when I am in the middle of a practice and before you know it, I’m sobbing because something is moving through me. This to me is the intelligence of the practice at work.  Sometimes the practice may not make sense as you’re doing it but later on you may get an awareness around something you’ve been contemplating or something you’ve been struggling with, which is pretty amazing.

How has Kundalini yoga been vital to your own healing journey as a human being going through what we all go through on this planet and also as a black woman?

It’s my devotion to my practice that keeps me centered and grounded.  When I’m not practicing, I feel it.  I feel off — as if I’m just blowing in the wind.  One of the things I’ve struggled with in my personal journey has been trusting myself and my intuition.  When I practice consistently, I feel steady and directed. 

As a Black woman navigating this life takes a lot of courage and trust.  I believe we are constantly questioning ourselves because we’re vacillating between being true and authentic to ourselves and also operating in a world that doesn’t allow for us to show up 100%.  I’ve struggled with that for most of my adult professional life. When I show up for myself consistently in Kundalini, I build my confidence and trust in myself as well as work through and release some of the emotions that may be stuck in my body.

For those who may be unfamiliar with Kundalini yoga, what would you say is the essence of this practice?

The essence of Kundalini Yoga is to create energetic balance in the mind, body, spirit system. It works on the subtle aspects of who we are, those aspects that may in fact be running the show in our subconscious without our knowledge and understanding. Kundalini efforts to bring us into a deeper awareness of that who we truly are.

Obviously, we are at a time of great unrest, reckoning and transformation in this country, and it’s triggering grief for many of us: what are some of the griefs that you’ve been present to in your own life these last few months?

The rug has been totally pulled out from under us and of course we’re feeling all of the feels. I mean, from moment to moment I know I can feel varying emotions and what I’ve come to understand is that that’s OK. I couldn’t explain or understand that this was what I was experiencing in the beginning of the pandemic and I almost felt an uncomfortable numbness. It’s impossible to extricate yourself from the influence and impact of what is happening “out there.”  And to be honest, I don’t want to anymore. I want to feel it all in a healthy way because if it’s happening out there, it’s happening “in here” closer to home within me. 

I’ve been grieving the great loss of lives from this pandemic, as well as the deliberate and senseless loss of Black lives that we are all witnessing almost daily. I am sitting with the underlying sadness that I believe Black people as a collective are experiencing right now. I’m also processing the fear and anger that accompany that grief in a world that is feeling more and more uncertain, chaotic, less accommodating and unsafe.

In addition, I’m also grieving the loss of my old identity, which held comfort and safety. This time is asking me to show up differently, more boldly and unafraid to be seen. This is a bit scary for me as I have never been the kind of person who looked to bring a lot of attention to myself. Because I have become clear about my mission, which is to be in service to Black people, I can’t do that from the sidelines. I’m being called to move to the front of the room and that is new for me so there is a part of me that is grieving the loss of my old self and the comfort that came with that. I’m also super excited and open to this growth process.  I’m here for it. 

What are some of the ways you’re seeing grief manifest in your students and clients?

A lot of my students are feeling anxious, tired, fatigued, angry, fearful and worried.

For many, it can be challenging to allow space for grief, whether it’s because we’re wary of acknowledging it or we don’t have time to stop and tune into our feelings or life is too chaotic and overwhelming: why is it so important to create space to honor and move with our grief?

I think we have too much at stake, especially as Black people, if we don’t process our grief in a healthy way.  If we don’t process grief, witness it, acknowledge it and give it space to exist, then it can stay with us much longer than we want it to, which can wreak havoc on our bodies. Unprocessed grief can manifest into stress and stress-related illnesses, a loss of vitality and joy.  Unprocessed grief can cause us to feel stuck and unmotivated. Processing grief in a healthy way can help us to move forward to acceptance, which frees us up to experience peace and joy once again.

What does honoring and caring for grief look like for you as a personal practice?

Acceptance is so very important to my grieving process. When I can accept that I am going through the grieving process, I also give myself permission to feel what I am feeling without trying to change it.  When I accept that I am going through that process, I can finally surrender and release my judgments of myself, which is like taking in a brand new breath of fresh air.  It is no longer this sneaky shadow that I’m pretending isn’t there. The tricky part of this process is being able to recognize when you are going through the grieving process. It’s sometimes hard to name that that is actually what’s happening because the grieving process is different for each person and can look a myriad of ways. It may take some time to fully understand that grief is why you’re feeling angry or tired or foggy for example. For me, acknowledging and accepting that I’m grieving is the first step toward healing.

 What does it look like as a community practice you share through Kundalini yoga?

I love coming together in community to practice — It’s healing, amplified. When Black people come together to practice Kundalini, it’s a special situation and it’s a felt experience. It’s soulful, it’s joyful, it’s messy, it’s authentic and we create something special and unique every time. When I prepare for a Black-centered practice, I feel into what the collective may be experiencing and processing and tailor the class to that energetic. Music, sound and dance are huge components in my classes because no matter what we may be going through, I always want us to connect into our joy and celebrate how truly magnificent and resilient we are as a people.

Earlier this summer, you created HomeComing: a sacred healing circle. Talk about your vision for that space, why it was such a vital offering for you and what you wanted people to experience that they don’t have access to in their everyday lives.

HomeComing was healing for me to create because I needed it for myself as much as I knew other Black people needed it.  I wanted to offer a space for us to come together to be in the safety of our kinship. I wanted this space to be ceremonial and sacred such that we felt permission to grieve any way we needed to. I didn’t necessarily want to have a discussion about the reason why we were there because we all felt the collective trauma in our bodies, I wanted us to show up and witness each other and know that we were being held just by each others’ presence. I wanted to be healed by the presence of the people who shared my struggle and my pain, as well as to feel the power of my blackness being reflected by everyone in the room.

After speaking to many of my friends and being part of various discussions, I realized that I wasn’t the only one having the desire to come together as black people, so I created HomeComing.  It was a space to experience power and healing and the safety to grieve. I wanted to create an experience of cocooning, of gentle rocking. This doesn’t happen often enough in the Black community and I wanted to create space for that. 

We can all do personal grief work on our own but what’s the alchemy and the benefit of coming together in community to heal?

This is so, so important!  We all grieve alone, but when we are able to come together to grieve in community, to feel held by another who can understand and relate to your pain is just the epitome of healing. Healing work happens in community!  And there is a magic, a transmutation of one’s grief when we are able to witness another and be witnessed in our most vulnerable state. It’s an offering up of our pain by being willing to allow others to witness us. It’s potent work and I want it to become part of our culture to bring our grieving to circle so we can be healed by each other. Healing circles, wailing circles aren’t new, but we’ve lost our connection to the necessity of them and I think we have the opportunity to normalize this beautiful and healing practice in our culture because it can and does heal. Period.

You’ve also offered a 40-day meditation series called My Radical Breath: can you talk about the significance of breath and meditation in grief and healing?

This meditation came about after the world witnessed the killing of George Floyd on national television and social media. I was shocked and traumatized by witnessing this murder. I felt completely spun off my center and felt much grief and pain and many other emotions. Listening to him and so many others cry out through choked voices and constricted throats that they cannot breathe was incomprehensible to me. Nothing was done to save his life. This Black man, like so many others died senselessly. I knew that it wasn’t just me feeling the wind knocked out of us. As a collective, we felt it and I think as Black people in particular it was yet another kick in the gut. I felt compelled to do something. 

Honestly, I wanted to fight, I wanted to kick and scream and punch and wail and I did.  After I got that out of my system, I knew I needed to put that energy somewhere because I needed to resist in some way.  I offered My Radical Breath as an act of protest in the way I knew how. I wanted Black people to know that we get to BREATHE.  We do not have to beg or ask permission to breathe — it’s our birthright! I wanted us to take a closer look at what it means to take a breath — this beautiful, personal resource we have available that when trained we can actually squeeze out more life from it. We can access deep healing through breathwork and meditation. We can move stuck emotions, access joy, as well as develop our intuitive abilities through both modalities. Breath asks us to be willing to do our personal work and to allow it to work for us.

What do you hope people take away from this series?

I hope people walk away knowing that they have direct access to a practical tool that they can use to reduce stress, directly supporting their nervous system functioning as well as optimal organ functioning that will create peace and calm. Ultimately, I want people to feel empowered to take up space!

One of the things this pandemic has brought to greater public attention is the disparities in access to health and wellness services that communities of color face: as a Black woman facilitating Black wellness, how are you creating an accessible healing portal for BIPOC?

My intention in sharing my knowledge is to inspire curiosity and action in using these tools for health and healing. As Black people, we have not always felt safe and welcome in many healing spaces and I want to shift that. I want Black folks to see my face and know that this is for them. I am committed to creating offerings that are tailored to and centered on Black people and our unique experiences.

Do you have a personal philosophy or mantra that guides you in your work?

I always have to remind myself that I can’t mess things up. Using my life as the playground for growth and transformation can be scary. However, as I have grown to surrender and accept that I am always supported no matter what choices I make, I am reminded that there is no bad or wrong, just lessons for growth. 

Ritual is also an important part of your practice: do you have any suggestions for everyday rituals we can create to help us hold the tenderness of grief?

I love rituals! I engage in rituals daily and some that I find extremely supportive to my process involve simple gratitude and self-love rituals that remind me that I am guided and never alone on this life journey. Upon waking up in the morning, I immediately say a prayer of gratitude: “Thank you Mama, Thank you God.”  I follow that up with acceptance and forgiveness prayers. Another ritual that I am practicing more often is infusing joy into my day.  Little dance parties are a must! It allows me to move my body, smile, laugh and feel amazing.

Yet another ritual I love are baths.  I’ve experienced some of my most transformative moments during my ritual baths, which I take once per week. It’s a place to bring all of the grief, all my tears and sorrow — to feel it, allow it and give it to the water. Burn candles, incense, play music and just BE.

 If you could offer one piece of wisdom for making our bodies a home for healing and love, what would it be?

I would say to listen to your body. Your body is constantly sending you signals and messages. It is this beautiful, intelligent system that is completely dependent on you to give it what it’s asking for its own vitality.  Don’t overthink it. If you get the urge to sing or dance or run or shake — do it!! The body is constantly trying to process energy and emotions and sending you requests to help it out. Trust yourself, trust your body.

BIO

Personal growth and spirituality are my life's true passions. As a survivor of childhood trauma, following a spiritual path has been my medicine for healing. I’ve spent my life rediscovering my true essence and have reclaimed joy and vitality by utilizing the tools I’ve learned through being a certified Kundalini Yoga teacher, an Usui Reiki practitioner, transformational leadership coach and energy worker, as well as the tools I’ve discovered through reading personal development texts.  

As a result of my journey, I have become committed to sharing my knowledge with other women, especially Black women, with the intention that they remember the beauty of self-discovery and healing as an illuminating spiritual adventure.  Much of my work focuses on teaching yoga classes, leading workshops and women's circles, where I offer movement, meditation, breathwork and introspective experiences that open opportunities for emotional and energetic release, which creates space for greater self-awareness, pleasure and, ultimately, peace.

To learn more, visit Minka or follow @simonenarayan